i don't know if anyone noticed, but lately i been a little bit like a roller coaster especially with my art. i don't know why, one i been feeling a bit out of it... maybe due to stress & this freaking hot weather. it's december now... it's supposed to be the monsoon season. we are supposed to be flooding with rain water... but instead we are being steamed alive!!!!
hello global warming... so not nice to meet you.
i am also facing a very unstable period in my drawing life right now... i been feeling really bored of drawing, and my characters been looking really ugly lately. which means that i am going through changes. & a major one too. a phenomenon that happens once in 5 years or more. bringing along the depression & frustration & tension & everything else in between. sometimes the pressure gets so hard it brought me to the brink of tears. sigh... the struggles of the artist... & with my mediocre talents, god knows how much i have to struggle to keep up.
talking about struggles, i am also struggling draw comics.most of the time i couldn't finish simply because i get too frustrated that the drawings are not turning out the way i want them to. & when i get frustrated i can't draw & when i can't draw i can't finish my work & when i can't finish my work i don't get paid & when i don't get paid i can't pay the bills... & this adds even more to my stress levels... gahhh...!!!!!!!
i am currently looking forward to next week. finally, the biggest & only manga/anime convention that i could attend this year... comic fiesta 2015 is here. this is my chance to unwind & have some fun & de-stress & socialize with people of my species whom i haven't seen in a very very very long time.
and, after that i have also been invited/ordered by my boss to help with promotion activities of the company's books (in which one of it is my graphic novel) so, i can hang out in the big city of kuala lumpur for a while. hopefully, i won't feel so cooped up anymore after all this...
and i can come home & once again be able to stabilize my drawing, and my mind.
it finally dawn to me that i been wearing the same pair of glasses for like 8 years. it's not that expensive or high grade stuff, but i must praise the shope for making such a strong sturdy glasses that lasted for so long. but, lately i notice that the lenses are scratched. so, i guess they are finally reaching the end of their life cycle.
thank you for being with me & serving me well for all these years... but now i need new & lighter pair of glasses. still haven't gathered enough funds for it yet, so expect some openings for commissions soon. but, not until i dig out more of the old ones. so many left forgotten & buried in the pile. please forgive me, i am doing my best to finish them so that i may start the new year with fresh inbox & determination.
for those waiting for their commissions, until next week, i intend to focus on sketches in order to catch up with the old works. after the trip, i will proceed with the inking & clean-up. ><
looking forward to this trip is currently making me feel a bit cheered up...