Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login

good bye george michael...

Journal Entry: Sun Dec 25, 2016, 5:59 PM
i don't usually write a journal about celebrities, since i am not really a fan of many. but this time, it's the passing of one of the most iconic singer song-writer of all times, george michael.

i actually woke up to the news on the radio (my mom listens to it all day as she work) i was like what? george michael is dead? immediately checked on the net... & so it's true. he's gone...

i have always loved his songs since i was a little girl. when careless whisper was  released, it's the year when i was born.  but, as i was growing up it was played on the radio ( keep in mind, this was before the age of internet) for years and years, and i had come to like his songs since i was very very young. even before i even know who it was that were singing them. it's not until the late 80's that i learned about wham! (which by the time has broken up) and george michael who rocked the 90's & 2000's with his hit after hit.

 i know that he's the artist with quite the reputation, & not all is good. but, his music transcended all that. no bad press could ever make us stop listening to his songs.

this christmas marks the loss of a great icon. he was one of those people blessed with real talent, and without him in it the music world will never be the same again.

so i say good bye, and thank you george michael for everything that you have given us.

& i, will be one of the millions of people in this world, who will miss you...

happy holidays...

Sat Dec 24, 2016, 3:31 AM

ah... that time of the year is back again. i just like to wish to all of my friends out there who are celebrating...

M Alphabets (Words) E (Alphabets) R (Alphabets) R (Alphabets) Y (Alphabets)
C (Alphabets) H (Alphabets) R (Alphabets) I (Alphabets) S (Alphabets) T (Alphabets) M Alphabets (Words) A (Alphabets)S (Alphabets)  ! Exclamation mark (Symbols)  to all. may you holidays be filled with joy and happiness with all your family and friends.

& H (Alphabets) A (Alphabets) P (Alphabets) P (Alphabets) Y (Alphabets)  
N Alphabets (Words) E (Alphabets) W (Alphabets)      Y (Alphabets) E (Alphabets) A (Alphabets) R (Alphabets)! Exclamation mark (Symbols)   to everybody around the world. may this new year brings with it good beginnings and happiness to all of us. god knows i could use some of this... ha ha.

good bye 2016, you have not been very good to me. hopefully 2017 will be kinder.

Skin CSS © Nesmaty

ah, so it's like that...

Fri Nov 25, 2016, 6:28 AM

just called paypal. to ask about features of the new site, specifically the new money sending interface. yeah, it seem that now paypal just auto-set the currency, according to which country you are sending the money to... so, if you don't change it before clicking send, the recipient will receive it in their own currency, instead of the sender's.

it wouldn't have been an issue, if my country's currency is more flexible. but RM cannot be converted into any other currencies, so it's pretty much useless for buying stuff, or just sending money (to other countries) online. 

so, before you send the money, please make sure that both currencies are set to USD (the info in the little box can be changed) or the money will be automatically converted. 

ha ha... i told them that this update is no good. i don't like it. 

& whoa, also realized that my speaking english is horrible. 

bunneh icon8 bunneh icon8 bunneh icon8 bunneh icon8 bunneh icon8 bunneh icon8 bunneh icon8 bunneh icon8 bunneh icon8 bunneh icon8 

Skin CSS © Nesmaty

lately, a few of my commissioners converted the currency before sending me my payment, from USD to RM. so, i think i should inform you guys, PLEASE DO NOT DO THAT. 

yeah, the currency exchange is really high right now, like usd1 = rm4. so it's quite a lot when converted (not really that much to spend in this economy actually) but, one thing about RM, is that it is practically USELESS for international transactions. other currencies can be converted to RM, but RM CANNOT be converted to other currencies. so, i can't even use it at ebay, let alone other places. 

& 1/2 of the time, i don't withdraw the income i earned from my commissions. but i use them to buy things online, and in order to do that i need USD.

so, i know u mean well, & i am very thankful... & for those who have done it it's okay thank you very much i am not mad or anything i can always use that money to pay the bills or something, this is just a reminder for those who are planning to send me funds in the future please do not send them to me in RM. 

sigh... everything in this county is just so mafan.

sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh  

Skin CSS © Nesmaty

color portrait commission...

Fri Nov 11, 2016, 11:55 PM

i mentioned before that i would like to do some colored commissions, in collaborations with my dear friend & long time partner in crime :iconzue: but due to work & a few issues (sori lily-chan Llama Emoji-08 (Crying) [V1] ) i wasn't able to open this sooner... 

i find lately that i should always keep my commissions open, since the economy is getting bad, & currency value of my country has plummeted, so it means that everything from bills to books & groceries & art supplies have gone up in price. the income that i am making could barely suffice for living expenses, so this means that i don't have much left for art & hobby stuff... so, having some extra income on the side helps me to keep drawings & keep my account to stay active, especially with my subscriptions coming to an end next year.

so, now i am opening up a new category... 

1 - portraits : bust drawings, lineart, can range from chibi heads to anime style or shoujo style. 

price : $8 to $10

samples :  little drawing... 01 by sureya   sailor jaffa cake... by sureya   sailor remarque... by sureya

2 - *NEW : colored portraits : same as above, but colored. can be chibi,anime, or shoujo style characters. 

price : $10 to $18

samples of :iconzue: 's coloring with my lines :  J38s95 By Zue-daku32m (1) by sureya  fairy and tulip... collab by sureya

3 - monotone pencil portraits : A5 size pencil drawings, lines edited to color. 

price : $10 to $15

sampes :  liliko... by sureya  dearmine's angela... by sureya

4 - half size chibi : tall chibi style drawings, drawn in A5 size.

price : $10 to $15

   giovanna... 01 by sureya   megumi sakura... by sureya

as for the terms, i don't draw (fully) nude, porn, yaoi, yuri or religious symbols in my drawings. so please make sure that your characters doesn't have all of these. i can draw both fanarts, or original characters, and i can draw them based on references or descriptions.

send me a note if you would like to commission me. 

thank you. 

Skin CSS © Nesmaty

commissions for art supply...

Fri Sep 30, 2016, 7:15 AM

sigh, sadly things haven't been very good for me for the past few months... so i have been having some trouble keeping up with bills & expenses. that in turn have left me feeling really stressed out & even more unable to draw... 

just recently, i am beginning to find the strength to draw again. so, i think i would like to take up some commissions. so that i could raise some funds to replenish my art supplies, like paper & leads & especially drawing pens. they r getting more and more expensive these days.

here are the types of commissions that i am willing to take... 

portrait :  little drawing... 01 by sureya   sailor jaffa cake... by sureya  price : $8 - $10

chibichibi :  iris libra in loli... by sureya   little japanese girl... by sureya  price : $8 - $10

half size chibi :  megumi sakura... by sureya   giovanna... 01 by sureya  price : $10 - $15

after considering more carefully, i don't think i am ready for a full size drawing yet (for those who have read my earlier journal) the 1/2 size is just as detailed as a full size, just drawn in a smaller size on paper. so when scanned, the lines would be a tiny bit thicker than the full size. that's the only difference between them. ^^

anyway, as for the terms, i don't draw (fully) nude, porn, yaoi, yuri or religious symbols in my drawings. so please make sure that your characters doesn't have all of these. i can draw both fanarts, or original characters, and i can draw them based on references or descriptions.

send me a note if you would like to commission me. 

thank you. 

in the mean time, to my current commissioners, i am sorry to have kept you waiting. i am in the process of cleaning up your commissions. so, please be a bit more patient and i will send your commishes as soon as possible.

Skin CSS © Nesmaty

back to the old ways...

Wed Aug 17, 2016, 7:55 PM


it's been a while. i was a caught up with work for a while... and bills bills bills...!!!! no matter how i pay there will always b more... gahhhh

anyway, u may have noticed with my latest deviation, i didn't include the stash link in the comments section. i am sorry about that. lately i've been a bit lazy, and figured that i just put them i stash & the full image won't be release into google or whatever & people can download them themselves through DA. but i forgot, nowadays art theft is at it's worst. outsiders treat DA as a source of free images. 

& what happened?

my drawing was printed on fabric somewhere in china. my art & identity was stolen (that person took it to the next level) hundreds of my images circulating in pinterest & instagram & god knows where else. found a few sold at amazon and etsy... & so many many more places.

sigh... my wish was for all to have fun. & it has always been what i wanted since my first day here. but the world is just too cruel to a lil' tiny artist like me. so, i'd have to revert back to before. the personal request system. 

u can still have my lineworks, for free of course. & u r allowed to color them and turn them into personal projects. just have fun with them, & make yourselves & others happy. u can post them online, but i encourage u to keep the images small, and watermarked. because these thieves don't just target lines, they also steal colored versions. 

just feel free to ask. doesn't matter through open comments or personal messages. & i will send them to you through notes or email (whichever u prefer) ^^

it's so tiring sometimes. i hope u understand.  sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh 

thank you. 

Skin CSS © Nesmaty

it's eid today....

Tue Jul 5, 2016, 5:47 PM

ramadhan has come to end end yesterday...

so today, is the 1st day of shawwal, the muslim month of celebrations.

so, i would like to wish all of my muslim brothers & sisters out there who are celebrating the occasion...

H (Alphabets) A (Alphabets) P (Alphabets) P (Alphabets) Y (Alphabets)        E (Alphabets) I (Alphabets) D (Alphabets) ! Exclamation mark (Symbols) ! Exclamation mark (Symbols) ! Exclamation mark (Symbols) 

may your celebrations b blesses with prosperity & happiness.

&, this is also the month of asking & giving of forgiveness. i know that i am not that great of a person, & i make mistakes & hurt the feelings of others. i'm lazy & procrastinate a lot, & leave people hanging. so, i sincerely hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me for any wrongs that i could've done to you.

okay, now that the essential r done, lets go & eat. xDDDDD

Skin CSS © Nesmaty

commissions closed.

Mon Jun 27, 2016, 8:51 AM

okay. that was fast. well, the slot number was small.


thank you.

i will re-open when i am done with this batch. ^^

Skin CSS © Nesmaty

okay, like i said in my last journal, i have something that i would like to get, so i would like to start taking in new commissions. but, since i still have quite a few old commissions to clean-up, i think it's better for me to take up small batches at a time. i will reopen, & change the type of drawings from time to time.

so... lets do this.

number of slots - 3 1 0

style of drawing - A5 size portrait (but they'll be a lot bigger at 300dpi)

price - usd 8

method of payment - paypal only

i can do any type of characters, original or fanart. i can even design a new character based on your description. but, i don't do porn, yaoi, yuri, excessive nudity, and religious symbols. i like to be paid once the sketch is done, and i will finish the drawing after the payment has been made.

examples of art :

tiny drawing... 01 by sureya

hotaru... by sureya

send me a note if you would like to commission me. ^^

thank you.


Skin CSS © Nesmaty

i want this....

Fri Jun 24, 2016, 7:19 AM

S-l1600 by sureya

it's the latest publication from one of my fave japanese artist. i love it so much. so, i am thinking of opening up commissions soon to raise funds to buy this. ><

but in the mean time, still calling all COMMISSIONERS please contact me & remind me if i haven't done your commishes. i want to finish up all my old commissions.

 bunneh icon4 bunneh icon5 bunneh icon4 bunneh icon5 bunneh icon4 bunneh icon5 bunneh icon4 bunneh icon5 bunneh icon4 bunneh icon5 bunneh icon4 bunneh icon5 bunneh icon4 

Skin CSS © Nesmaty

first of all, i am so sorry that i went into seclusion for such a long time. i was having some difficult life issues, and it left me feeling really depressed & unable 2 draw. had some fall out with people that i like & care about, & it left me heartbroken inside.


i would like to get back to my commission now. but, after the long absence, i am having a little bit of trouble picking things up from where i left them. so... to all my commissioners, if it's not too much trouble, can you let me know if i still owe you a drawing or more?

i want to finish up everything. so that i can take up new commissions with a fresh mind.

thank you.

Skin CSS © Nesmaty

somewhere far far away in the kingdom of china... my frequently stolen sailor moon chibi drawing...


onion head 'shock_' onion head 'shock_' onion head 'shock_' onion head 'shock_' onion head 'shock_' onion head 'shock_' onion head 'shock_'

il 570xN.936018246 cyfv by sureya

u can find it on etsy...…

& it's also AliExpress...…

ha ha... on one side, yeah i'm pissed. but then, it's not the seller's fault so don't go attacking this person, he/she is merely selling the fabric. perhaps it was printed by some company in china, whom r notorious for their rip offs & bootlegs. plus it's already in circulation, so i don't think there's anything much that can be done about it.

on another note... i think i WANT this fabric. it's not everyday u get to see ur art printed on real fabric. even though it's stolen art.

i could sew this into bjd stuff, & say that the image on the fabric is my own drawing. wouldn't that be cool...?

bunneh icon4 bunneh icon5 bunneh icon4 bunneh icon5 bunneh icon4 bunneh icon5 bunneh icon4 bunneh icon5 bunneh icon4 bunneh icon5 bunneh icon4 bunneh icon5 


Skin CSS © Nesmaty

i want a light box...

Tue May 24, 2016, 8:18 AM

lately i been feeling that my eyes are not as good as the used to be. maybe it's age catching up with me... ^^;

and, i also feel like changing my drawing paper. for years my choice of paper has always been 80gms, double A. i don't know if it's just me, but i been feeling that the paper is declining in quality. it has gotten a bit thinner & not as smooth as they used to be anymore. so, i think i would like to upgrade to thicker smoother paper. but, the problem is, in my drawing process, i do a LOT of tracing.

it's do-able with 70-80gms, but anything thicker would be hard. even now, i'm starting to feel it's difficult to do with 80gms paper.

so... i made a decision, next pay day, i will get me a light box/pad. maybe it could finally get me out of this slump, & get me to draw more. because part of the reason y i am finding it harder to draw, is the tools that i am using are no longer producing the results that i could be satisfied with.

however, i don't know much about them. from my research, the most recommended by a lot of people is the huion light pad. it's cheap & pretty good quality. there r also a few even cheaper alternatives, but they r brand-less china made products, so i'm not sure of the quality.

so, anybody here use light box to draw? could you share some of your experiences & tips with me?

thank you very much. ^^

oh by the way, i am considering trying out deleter neopiko pens, and also seriously taking up markers. but since i have ZERO experience in coloring with markers, i am thinking of starting out with the cheap china-made, and neopiko markers... ><

Skin CSS © Nesmaty


okay, this is a first... i thought that by watermarking all of drawings would help to curb this problem, but this person has taken art thieving to a whole new level...  not only stealing my art, he/she is also pretending to be me.

PEOPLE, THIS IS NOT MY ACCOUNT. i don't even know about this paigeeworld website until someone told me about it (thank you very much :iconairorokkuhauto: )  like i always tell people, i ONLY have accounts at DEVIANTART & FACEBOOK. i also have twitter, but not very active. so if you see my drawings somewhere other than these places, THAT'S NOT ME. 

this person even have the nerve so say they draw their own art & reply to the comments under my name. ><

what's wrong with this person, is he/she so attention deprived that they would resort to pretending to be someone else, and stealing their work so that they would feel good about themselves...? come on, if you want to prove to the world what you can do, this is not the way. it's just pathetic...

help me guys... what should i do with this person?

Skin CSS © Nesmaty

it's too hot...

Mon Mar 14, 2016, 7:42 AM

it seem that lately all i ever do is complain about the heat...

but it has been really really hot this past few months, and especially now after the solar eclipse, it seem that the heat has gone up double than it was before. the sun is blazing ever so intensely now... they said it was due to the alignment of the earth & the sun that causes the rays to concentrate more in the equator... or something like that...

whatever it is... it's hot. really hot... it's so hot that the government announced that they may be closing down schools due to the heat, which is unheard of before in the history of this country. we are having droughts & water supplies are being rationed out in some places... & all my friends living in different states are complaining of the crazy heat after the eclipse...

sigh... my head been feeling woozy all day long today. i couldn't even concentrate enough to draw. this heat is taking a terrible toll on my work. because it won't let me sleep, & sucks away my energy to draw... :faint: :faint:

oh ya... talking about the recent eclipse... i didn't see it. we had a partial here, but it happened way early in the morning. by the time i woke up that day, it was already over... ha ha... ^^; ^^;

oh well... i have seen (full) eclipses twice in my life time already, so this one wasn't really that big of a deal.

but still... it's too hot... too hot right now... too hot that i can't stand it sometimes. bathing does nothing... tap water feels lukewarm... i don't even dry myself with a towel anymore, because i'll be dry in 15 minutes... & then i'll be hot & dry again...

little boy please please go away...

Llama Emoji-08 (Crying) [V1] Llama Emoji-08 (Crying) [V1] Llama Emoji-08 (Crying) [V1] 

Skin CSS © Nesmaty

and with this, i close my commissions.

thank you very much to the people who commissioned me and helped my to raise my ticket money to this years comic fiesta. it's astounding how much the public transport costs has risen in the last few years. it was only rm30 like 5 years ago, and now it's 50. i'd have to spend rm50 just for the first bus, and then i would need to take another bus to the train terminal, & take a train, & then take another bus in order to finally get to the intended place... & then, i'd need the same amount for the trip back home.

 so, you can imagine how much fare money i would need.

but one good news, i'll be joining the convention this year (although only for sunday) i'll be hanging out with the group osugatari at row F19. for malaysians who are going this is where we will be at :

CVeys dVAAAtYbE.jpg large by sureya

i am the guest artist, and i will be doing on the spot commissions. so, if any of you have any characters in mind that you would like me to draw, please drop by. or if you would like to meet & chat, i will always be open for that too. god knows i need some socializing with people of my species, after a long long time of being with the normies. :faint:

i am feeling really doki doki about going this time. i wasn't able to go to CF for the past 2 years, or any other convention for a long time. finally........ Llama Emoji-08 (Crying) [V1] Llama Emoji-08 (Crying) [V1] Llama Emoji-08 (Crying) [V1] Llama Emoji-08 (Crying) [V1] Llama Emoji-08 (Crying) [V1]

btw... with this latest commission, it dawned to me. maybe i should be doing my commission in this style from now on. whenever i have a free day, just sit in front of the computer & just sketch out the commissions i get practically on the spot. it's less stressful both for me and the commissioner, and it's quicker, & most importantly they won't pile up. 

bunneh icon12 bunneh icon12 bunneh icon12 bunneh icon12 bunneh icon12 bunneh icon12 bunneh icon12 bunneh icon12 bunneh icon12

i am still digging through my old commissions though. i want to clear my inbox as soon as possible.

2016... bring it on. sureya is fighting back this time. victoryplz victoryplz victoryplz victoryplz victoryplz 

Skin CSS © Nesmaty

commish for ticket money...

Sun Dec 13, 2015, 9:48 PM

ah, ticket prices have gone up. i just realize that i may not have enough funds for them. i do have the option of borrowing from someones else, but i would like to avoid that if possible. Panda Emoji-20 (Err....) [V1] 

so, i am opening quick commissions, i will sketch them right away, & ink them after i returned next week.

style : mini chibi. they are 1/2 the height of my normal big head chibies, but still quite detailed.

like this : iris libra in loli... sketch by sureya

if you would like to commission me, send me a note containing references or descriptions of the character that you would like me to draw. i don't set a fixed number of how many i will take in thi time, but i will close when i have enough.

price : $5 to $8 depending on complexity.
terms : no porn, no religious symbols, no yaoi or yuri. can be original character or fanart.

thank you. ^^

Skin CSS © Nesmaty

i need new glasses....

Fri Dec 11, 2015, 8:16 PM

i don't know if anyone noticed, but lately i been a little bit like a roller coaster especially with my art. i don't know why, one i been feeling a bit out of it... maybe due to stress & this freaking hot weather. it's december now... it's supposed to be the monsoon season. we are supposed to be flooding with rain water...  but instead we are being steamed alive!!!! Atomic Cock Atomic Cock Atomic Cock

hello global warming... so not nice to meet you. mmm... tard-cream mmm... tard-cream mmm... tard-cream mmm... tard-cream mmm... tard-cream mmm... tard-cream mmm... tard-cream

i am also facing a very unstable period in my drawing life right now... i been feeling really bored of drawing, and my characters been looking really ugly lately. which means that i am going through changes. & a major one too. a phenomenon that happens once in 5 years or more. bringing along the depression & frustration & tension & everything else in between. sometimes the pressure gets so hard it brought me to the brink of tears. sigh... the struggles of the artist... & with my mediocre talents, god knows how much i have to struggle to keep up. Rose Dead Rose Dead Rose Dead Rose Dead Rose Dead 

talking about struggles, i am also struggling draw comics.most of the time i couldn't finish simply because i get too frustrated that the drawings are not turning out the way i want them to. & when i get frustrated i can't draw & when i can't draw i can't finish my work & when i can't finish my work i don't get paid & when i don't get paid i can't pay the bills... & this adds even more to my stress levels... gahhh...!!!!!!!  :BombingEscape: Birb dance :iconbomblaexploplz: WTF EYE

i am currently looking forward to next week. finally, the biggest & only manga/anime convention that i could attend this year... comic fiesta 2015 is here. this is my chance to unwind & have some fun & de-stress & socialize with people of my species whom i haven't seen in a very very very long time. :la: GIF animation :la: GIF animation :la: GIF animation :la: GIF animation :la: GIF animation

and, after that i have also been invited/ordered by my boss to help with promotion activities of the company's books (in which one of it is my graphic novel) so, i can hang out in the big city of kuala lumpur for a while. hopefully, i won't feel so cooped up anymore after all this... Willow La La La La La La La La La La La La La La Willow La La La La La La La La La La La La La La Willow La La La La La La La La La La La La La La Willow La La La La La La La La La La La La La La Willow La La La La La La La La La La La La La La  and i can come home & once again be able to stabilize my drawing, and my mind.

it finally dawn to me that i been wearing the same pair of glasses for like 8 years. it's not that expensive or high grade stuff, but i must praise the shope for making such a strong sturdy glasses that lasted for so long. but, lately i notice that the lenses are scratched. so, i guess they are finally reaching the end of their life cycle.

thank you for being with me & serving me well for all these years... but now i need new & lighter pair of glasses. still haven't gathered enough funds for it yet, so expect some openings for commissions soon. but, not until i dig out more of the old ones. so many left forgotten & buried in the pile. please forgive me, i am doing my best to finish them so that i may start the new year with fresh inbox & determination. bunneh icon14 bunneh icon14 bunneh icon14 bunneh icon14 bunneh icon14 

for those waiting for their commissions, until next week, i intend to focus on sketches in order to catch up with the old works. after the trip, i will proceed with the inking & clean-up. ><

looking forward to this trip is currently making me feel a bit cheered up... Freaky Smile Freaky Smile

Skin CSS © Nesmaty

time to get back to work...

Tue Nov 24, 2015, 9:08 PM

i don't think a lot of people know about this yet, since i been ranting about it on facebook rather than here. i just recovered from a week of slump... because of the loss of my cat. remember my old gay cat? the gentle sweet abu? he suddenly disappeared. really left me heartbroken. we had him for over 10 years. i can still remember that day my mom bringing home a wet dirty little ball of fluff back when i was in college, & now i have graduated for over 10 years.

it was quite a mystery what happened to him... that day he was sleeping in my next door neighbor's house (that's just about as far as he would go) it's close by so i could always see him from above the fence. just a normal day, & normally abu is not the going out type although he's a male. throughout the decade that we had him, he had always been a stayed at home mommy, always taking care of the little ones & NEVER goes out to chase after girls. anyway, my neighbor never really minded him, so there he was curled up in the yard up until dusk. & then when night comes, i and my sister realized that he wasn't there at feeding time.

we tried looking for him that night. i walked around the neighborhood looking for him, while my sister went further on motorcycle. but not  even a trace of him could be found. i even asked the neighbor to call up some people who was mowing her lawn that day just in case the took him or they knew what happened to him, still no news.

sigh... i was really worried (still am) because he's a spoiled & mild cat that had been taken cared of & fed all his life. he doesn't have any street smarts & he's too gentle to fight off feral cats.

but still no news. i am still keeping a hope that we would find him, but it has been a week. :tears:

as many might be aware, i am the type of artist that run on emotions. when i feel bad, my hands just refuses to move, & my head goes blank. & just last month i lost my most precious apek, & just when i was about to recover, i was hit by another loss. so, i was in disarray for quite a while. work & projects just ended up going out the window...

until yesterday, i was finally able to pick up the pen again, & started drawing with less heaviness. not fully there, but i am coping. i decided to just dig out all my old notes, & look for all the delayed commissions i have piled up. that's it, i had enough of feeling guilty every time i see them. so, let's finish them this time, one by one. >"<

as for work, i am so sorry boss i am getting to them... please have patience with me. :cries:

just recently, my sister just finished her college studies, in computer graphic design. yeah, she got to study art related stuff, simply because she's the younger one & parents don't put as much pressure on them unlike the oldest one like me. wow, i sound so petty don't i? yeah, i am a bit annoyed at that fact, & this girl sneered at me a few years back saying that i am not working in the field of my studies (business) & instead just became an artists. heh... now that she's finished with her studies... guess what job is she applying?

yeah, an educated supermarket cashier...

greeeaaaaatttttt use of your design diploma. i thought a while back i heard a certain someone said she wants to work an office job...  :clap:

over the past few months, i suddenly noticed something. you know how i been complaining about how i was plagued with the persistent cough that had been going on since 2013 & throughout 2014 & early 2015... & after after going to different doctors, i was told that i was allergic to dried fermented fish & seafood & weak to ice water.

i did everything... took allergy medication, cough syrups, cough drops, held myself from drinking cold water in this scorching heat & avoided all the things i'm allergic to... but still not getting any real results. i just get a bit relieve... but the coughing never stopped. so, i just went like WHATEVER I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ANYMORE, IF I AM TO DIE FROM THIS THEN I'LL JUST DIE but i'm just so sick of feeling depressed over this damn disease. not to mention my mom always pestering me to do something about it... WELL I AM SORRY THAT MY COUGHING HURTS YOUR GOD DAMN EARS BUT IT'S NOT LIKE THIS IS SOMETHING THAT I CAN GOD DAMN CONTROL. i know it's not a great sound to hear, but it's not fair to be angry at people for coughing & it hurts them a lot when people do that... the coughing was already physically hurting me as it is, & i had to put up with this mental torture too...?

mom... i know that i am the oldest & everything, but can't you treat me like the others for once in my life. show some friggin' love & care won't you? here i am having god knows what sickness & all you do is yap yap yap...

anyway... here i am... don't know when it happen, it just happened... i am now cough free. finally. & i can breath without any pain or tightness in my lungs. you have no idea just how great that feels. i still get some tightness if i eat shrimps & canned tuna, but doesn't lead to any cough. & nowadays i am extra weary to colds. because that's usually how it started.

okay... that's a about all this time. getting back to work now.

p.s : probably will open some commissions later, got some bills to pay.


Skin CSS © Nesmaty