i don't think a lot of people know about this yet, since i been ranting about it on facebook rather than here. i just recovered from a week of slump... because of the loss of my cat. remember my old gay cat? the gentle sweet abu? he suddenly disappeared. really left me heartbroken. we had him for over 10 years. i can still remember that day my mom bringing home a wet dirty little ball of fluff back when i was in college, & now i have graduated for over 10 years.
it was quite a mystery what happened to him... that day he was sleeping in my next door neighbor's house (that's just about as far as he would go) it's close by so i could always see him from above the fence. just a normal day, & normally abu is not the going out type although he's a male. throughout the decade that we had him, he had always been a stayed at home mommy, always taking care of the little ones & NEVER goes out to chase after girls. anyway, my neighbor never really minded him, so there he was curled up in the yard up until dusk. & then when night comes, i and my sister realized that he wasn't there at feeding time.
we tried looking for him that night. i walked around the neighborhood looking for him, while my sister went further on motorcycle. but not even a trace of him could be found. i even asked the neighbor to call up some people who was mowing her lawn that day just in case the took him or they knew what happened to him, still no news.
sigh... i was really worried (still am) because he's a spoiled & mild cat that had been taken cared of & fed all his life. he doesn't have any street smarts & he's too gentle to fight off feral cats.
but still no news. i am still keeping a hope that we would find him, but it has been a week.
as many might be aware, i am the type of artist that run on emotions. when i feel bad, my hands just refuses to move, & my head goes blank. & just last month i lost my most precious apek, & just when i was about to recover, i was hit by another loss. so, i was in disarray for quite a while. work & projects just ended up going out the window...
until yesterday, i was finally able to pick up the pen again, & started drawing with less heaviness. not fully there, but i am coping. i decided to just dig out all my old notes, & look for all the delayed commissions i have piled up. that's it, i had enough of feeling guilty every time i see them. so, let's finish them this time, one by one. >"<
as for work, i am so sorry boss i am getting to them... please have patience with me.
just recently, my sister just finished her college studies, in computer graphic design. yeah, she got to study art related stuff, simply because she's the younger one & parents don't put as much pressure on them unlike the oldest one like me. wow, i sound so petty don't i? yeah, i am a bit annoyed at that fact, & this girl sneered at me a few years back saying that i am not working in the field of my studies (business) & instead just became an artists. heh... now that she's finished with her studies... guess what job is she applying?
yeah, an educated supermarket cashier...
greeeaaaaatttttt use of your design diploma. i thought a while back i heard a certain someone said she wants to work an office job...
over the past few months, i suddenly noticed something. you know how i been complaining about how i was plagued with the persistent cough that had been going on since 2013 & throughout 2014 & early 2015... & after after going to different doctors, i was told that i was allergic to dried fermented fish & seafood & weak to ice water.
i did everything... took allergy medication, cough syrups, cough drops, held myself from drinking cold water in this scorching heat & avoided all the things i'm allergic to... but still not getting any real results. i just get a bit relieve... but the coughing never stopped. so, i just went like WHATEVER I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ANYMORE, IF I AM TO DIE FROM THIS THEN I'LL JUST DIE but i'm just so sick of feeling depressed over this damn disease. not to mention my mom always pestering me to do something about it... WELL I AM SORRY THAT MY COUGHING HURTS YOUR GOD DAMN EARS BUT IT'S NOT LIKE THIS IS SOMETHING THAT I CAN GOD DAMN CONTROL. i know it's not a great sound to hear, but it's not fair to be angry at people for coughing & it hurts them a lot when people do that... the coughing was already physically hurting me as it is, & i had to put up with this mental torture too...?
mom... i know that i am the oldest & everything, but can't you treat me like the others for once in my life. show some friggin' love & care won't you? here i am having god knows what sickness & all you do is yap yap yap...
anyway... here i am... don't know when it happen, it just happened... i am now cough free. finally. & i can breath without any pain or tightness in my lungs. you have no idea just how great that feels. i still get some tightness if i eat shrimps & canned tuna, but doesn't lead to any cough. & nowadays i am extra weary to colds. because that's usually how it started.
okay... that's a about all this time. getting back to work now.
p.s : probably will open some commissions later, got some bills to pay.