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happy valentine...

Journal Entry: Tue Feb 14, 2017, 7:23 PM
well... valentine came here yesterday actually, but since the timezone in the east is a bit faster than the western hemisphere, i guess in a lot of place it's still the 14th. 

first of all, you may noticed that i haven't been very active lately, and no new artwork or commissions. i am sorry about that. it seem that i am not totally out of this depressing state i've been in since last year. i don't know why... too many issues in life i guess, pressuring & stressing me out, especially money related. i am a weird one... the lack of financials makes mot artists work more, but for me it just makes me shut down. it's not that i don't want to draw... i do... very much... but when i hold the pencil, all that fire just went ka-poof. 

& i'd end up staring at the blank paper for hours & hours... 

so, in order to keep my hands busy i've been compensating with sewing. create new doll dress patterns, & making patchworks. i am currently finishing a blanket... ha ha. at least it keeps my hand from going stiff... 

i have come to draw some comic pages since last week. just drawing them slowly & carefree-ly on my own. maybe later i can have it publish, or not it's fine i don't want to think too much for now. i'm glad just to be drawing...

hopefully this will help me get my motivation back. i think this is also because i've been doing a lot of digital lately, and the transition is making me lose a bit of my confidence in traditional drawing. hand feel a bit unstable & i keep gripping the pen too hard, & it hurt my fingers. sigh... so, i stopped for a while, & when i picked up the pen again last week, the way i hold the pen has changed a bit.  

before, i grip the pen with 3 fingers, but now, i only use 2 fingers to move the pen. of course i'd still need the middle finger to stabilize the pen, but only the thumb & index would move, like when i use the tablet pen. that's a big change. but, it's not a bad think, when i hold the pen like this i don't grip & press my hand too hard anymore. 

i guess that helps with the pain issue... 

for now, please forgive me while i reconcile & put myself back together again. 

anyway, back to valentine... i know, i am a weird person... i'm unsocial-able... i'm not very expressive nor affectionate & people always think i'm cold. but, know that deep inside, i love all my friends & family & kitties. all of you, bring a lot of meaning in my awkward mundane existence in this world. so, thank you all of you, for being a part of my world. 

happy valentine's day. 

Skin by nikkittie (modified by sureya)
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nosugarjustanger Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2017
I hope that you'd get over the hump. :heart: 

Things will get better. <3
Aiko-Hirocho Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2017  Student General Artist
happy late valentines! *hugs* 
Don't feel bad, its good to get a distraction out of what you normally do, just take your time.
I know its hard, sometimes we hit a wall, true, but like i was taugh...funny enough by games, its to stay DETERNED and never lose hope, things will be okay, you just have to believe it
slinkysis3 Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy Valentine's Day :heart: and feel better soon!
Rapsody Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2017
You should take photos of the work you've been doing to share :) 
ColaChu Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
I hope you feel better! Wishing you all the best and Happy Valentine's Day! :heart:
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