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happy valentine...

Journal Entry: Tue Feb 14, 2017, 7:23 PM
well... valentine came here yesterday actually, but since the timezone in the east is a bit faster than the western hemisphere, i guess in a lot of place it's still the 14th. 

first of all, you may noticed that i haven't been very active lately, and no new artwork or commissions. i am sorry about that. it seem that i am not totally out of this depressing state i've been in since last year. i don't know why... too many issues in life i guess, pressuring & stressing me out, especially money related. i am a weird one... the lack of financials makes mot artists work more, but for me it just makes me shut down. it's not that i don't want to draw... i do... very much... but when i hold the pencil, all that fire just went ka-poof. 

& i'd end up staring at the blank paper for hours & hours... 

so, in order to keep my hands busy i've been compensating with sewing. create new doll dress patterns, & making patchworks. i am currently finishing a blanket... ha ha. at least it keeps my hand from going stiff... 

i have come to draw some comic pages since last week. just drawing them slowly & carefree-ly on my own. maybe later i can have it publish, or not it's fine i don't want to think too much for now. i'm glad just to be drawing...

hopefully this will help me get my motivation back. i think this is also because i've been doing a lot of digital lately, and the transition is making me lose a bit of my confidence in traditional drawing. hand feel a bit unstable & i keep gripping the pen too hard, & it hurt my fingers. sigh... so, i stopped for a while, & when i picked up the pen again last week, the way i hold the pen has changed a bit.  

before, i grip the pen with 3 fingers, but now, i only use 2 fingers to move the pen. of course i'd still need the middle finger to stabilize the pen, but only the thumb & index would move, like when i use the tablet pen. that's a big change. but, it's not a bad think, when i hold the pen like this i don't grip & press my hand too hard anymore. 

i guess that helps with the pain issue... 

for now, please forgive me while i reconcile & put myself back together again. 


anyway, back to valentine... i know, i am a weird person... i'm unsocial-able... i'm not very expressive nor affectionate & people always think i'm cold. but, know that deep inside, i love all my friends & family & kitties. all of you, bring a lot of meaning in my awkward mundane existence in this world. so, thank you all of you, for being a part of my world. 


happy valentine's day. 

Skin by nikkittie (modified by sureya)
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:iconnosugarjustanger:
nosugarjustanger Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2017
I hope that you'd get over the hump. :heart: 

Things will get better. <3
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:iconaiko-hirocho:
Aiko-Hirocho Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2017  Student General Artist
happy late valentines! *hugs* 
Don't feel bad, its good to get a distraction out of what you normally do, just take your time.
I know its hard, sometimes we hit a wall, true, but like i was taugh...funny enough by games, its to stay DETERNED and never lose hope, things will be okay, you just have to believe it
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:iconslinkysis3:
slinkysis3 Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy Valentine's Day :heart: and feel better soon!
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:iconrapsody:
Rapsody Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2017
You should take photos of the work you've been doing to share :) 
Reply
:iconcolachu:
ColaChu Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
I hope you feel better! Wishing you all the best and Happy Valentine's Day! :heart:
Reply
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